Hay There

B-  Hiya Ranger!

R-  Hello Beel.

B-  What's my horse up to today?

R-  I am still about fourteen of the hands.  Just like always Beel.

B-  No, I mean... never mind.  I've had a pretty busy few days here.  Sorry I haven't been around to bug you much.

R-  That is good Beel.

B-  A couple days ago I went down the mountain to buy some hay.

R-  My hay?

B-  Yeah.  I split a load with our oldest daughter.  It was 99-101 degrees while we were loading a ton of hay onto my truck and another ton onto their trailer.  Hot-hot-hot.  As I pulled away I was glad the truck has a working air conditioner.  But as I drove along, it didn't seem to be cooling off any.  In fact, I was getting hotter and hotter and HOTTER  and then-  SATAN'S SKILLET! MY ARSE IS ON FIRE!!!

R-  Beel?

B-  I really hate it when those stupid heated leather seats get turned on by accident.  It can ruin your...

R-  Beel!

B-  Yeah Buddy?

R-  Was my hay okay?

B-  Yeah, but some of the bales were kinda soft and the load kept shifting.  In fact, our daughter lost about 20% of their load on a "round-about" in one of the small towns on her way home.  Fifteen bales hit...

R-  But my hay is okay Beel?

B-  Yeah, I just had to tighten the straps a couple times more than usual.  So just when I got up the mountain with the hay, a lady from a near by town showed up at the lodge saying her car had broken down across the street and Juanita asked if I could give her a ride home.

R-  Did you take my hay?

B-  No Ranger, the truck stayed home and I took the minivan.  After I dropped her at her home, I started back to the lodge, when I saw another car broken down beside the highway.  I offered the 2 gals in the car a ride back to the lodge so they could call a towing service.  When I got back to the lodge, it looked like it was going to rain  before I could unload the hay, so I...

R-  Did my hay get wet?

B-  No, our grandson and I tarped the hay before we took the gals back to their broken car.  Their car only had 700 miles on it.  This was its' break-in trip.  Break down trip is more like it.  When we got home the grandson and I unloaded and stacked the hay.

R-  So my hay is put away?

B-  Put up just fine, Ranger.  The next day Juanita and I went into town to visit her mom, play with our daughters horse "Skeeter", and buy the weeks' groceries and some parts for a plumbing project.  We got home, unloaded the food, and then I stayed up late replacing a water heater that had started leaking.  You know, it drives me kinda nuts when I call them "hot water heaters".  They are "cold water heaters" and I guess it's just a pet...

R-  It did not leak on my hay?

B-  No, we don't keep your hay in the kitchen, even though it's food.  So it was after midnight when I finally turned the hot water heater... crap... water heater on and went to bed.  A little after 5:am this morning, the hiking guide staying with us knocked on our bedroom door and said it looked like a bear had gotten into our van and dug some stuff out of it.

R-  Beel.

B-  I guess we hadn't fully closed the slider door on the van after unloading the groceries and the bear had climbed in and snooped around for something to eat.

R-  Beel.

B-  Yes Buddy?

R-  Did the bear get my hay?

B-  Naw,  we don't keep any food in the van over night in hopes of keeping the bears out of it.  I do think he got a couple antacids though.

R-   Okay Beel my hay got loaded and did not burn up or fall in the road or get rained on or break down or get wet or get eaten by a bear.  WHERE IS MY HAY BEEL?

B-  Oh yeah, huh.  It's dinner time, isn't it.  Sorry, I guess I got kinda wrapped up in my story.

R-  It was a good story Beel.  I really liked the part about my hay.