B- Hey Ranger! What's up?
R- Trees and birds Beel.
B- No no. That's just a greeting like "What's happening?" or "How's tricks?"
R- I am eating and I do not do tricks.
B- Boy, that's a fact. Say, speaking of tricks, yesterday the oldest daughter, her husband and I went to see the finals in the "Extreme Mustang Makeover" contest. A couple dozen trainers took one unhandled mustang each and spent 3 months training them. Yesterday was the finals and the best trainer/mustang was chosen. Those horses could do some amazing stuff! Liberty work, riders cracking whips off them, crossing scary obstacles like tarps and stuff, side passing, roping cattle. Stuff I couldn't teach you in another 10 years.
R- Did the train peoples feed the horses?
B- Yeah, of course!
R- Did all the peoples leave the horses alone when they ate?
B- Well, sure.
R- That would be nice.
B- Huh. You saying you would do tricks if I left you alone?
R- No Beel. I am saying I am eating. Leave me alone.
B- I'll tell you what. If you will "side pass" for me, I'll let you eat.
R- What is a "slide-past"?
B- Side pass. It is when you walk sideways so your side is going first.
R- That sounds like it might make me hurt. I think you would have to be crazy like a dog to walk like that. Walk forward. Back up. Turn. That will make you go anywhere.
B- Yeah, but if you side on up to a gate, I can open the gate without getting off of you.
R- You want me to do tricks because you are lazy like a cat. Climb off. Open the gate. We walk through. Close the gate. Climb on. No sliding past.
B- I guess it's some sort of mustang thing. The horse that sold for the most at the end of "EMM" was the one that was not going to do ANY of the tricks she had been taught for the "free style" portion of the contest. It was kind of funny to watch, but that mare had her own agenda for that part of the show, and the trainer could only shake her head in disbelief. The horse was just done with doing tricks.
R- She was probably hungry Beel.
B- Speaking of hungry, we had some "Mule Churned Ice Cream" It was actually quite good. Maybe you could get a job with them. They don't have to side pass.
R- I hope the mules made you do tricks before they gived you the eye-scream.