Cowboy Wisdom

I haven't been able to ride much in the last week or two, so I don't have much to say. In spite of that here are some thoughts; some mine, some from friends, and a lot shamelessly stolen from assorted emails.


A Cowboy's Guide to Life

Never squat with yer spurs on.

There are two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than ya can chew, yer mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n ya think.

If ya get to thinkin' yer a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

If ya find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If ya shoot yourself in the foot, ya don't get to gripe about yer missin' toes.

If ya spend all your time with skunks, no one will mistake ya for a rose.

When ya go into a beer hall, look fer a woman with a tattoo. She's already proved she's capable of mak'in a decision she'll live to regret.

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks ya need a haircut.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless yer out of good whiskey.

Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

If yer ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

When ya give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When yer throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

Always take a good look at what yer about to eat. It 'aint so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

The quickest way to double yer money is to fold it over and put it back in yer pocket.

Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance. They have their place in the world, but damn....

Don't corner something that ya know is meaner than you.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember, timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Oops. Guess I blew the last one...

Bill