Sometimes I Don't Like My Horse

B-  Say Juanita, after a fun day at the zoo, I'd like to stop and brush our horses for a couple minutes.


B- Ranger! Jesse!  Washoe!  HEY YOU GUYS!  TREAT!

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R- Do not give away all of the waffle treats Beel.  I am here to eat them.

B-   I saved some for you, Ranger.  And I brought the curry comb to scrape off some of your winter hair.

EatBrushEatBrushEatBrushEatBrushEatBrushEatBrushEat

B-  Okay buddy, we're going to take off now.  Be a good horse.  Eh well... just be a horse.

R-  Okay Beel.  I will see you on another day.  Bring waffles.


B-  Well that was fun, Juanita.  Got a horse fix and now we're heading home. What?  I think you're right!  That was the Ranchers Daughter that just passed us with the horse trailer.  Today must be the day our horses need to move to the next pasture.  We should go help.  I'll just turn around here...

B-  Hey!  Need any help catching the horses?

RD-  That might be good.  Sometimes Ranger can be... difficult.

B-  Naw, we just spent a half hour brushing and feeding them.  It'll only take a minute...

B-  Ranger!  Jesse!  Washoe!

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B-  Hey you guys!  Okay Jesse, you have your halter on.  And Washoe, there's yours.  And the other two mares get theirs.  And now, Ranger, here's yo...

R-  No Beel.

B-  Awww for Pete's Sake, Ranger.  Get over here and put your halter on.

R-  No Beel.  It is the same day.  You are supposed to come see me on another day.  You must go away now.

B-  Now stop that!  You get your tail back here and

R-  No Beel.  It is time for me to run away.

B-  Hold still!  Just stop!  Wait! 

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B- You turd.


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B-  Okay, now just...

R-  Goodby Beel.

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B-  I can still see you Ranger!.  It's only 40 acres.  (Of course, you're a quarter mile away now.)

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B-  Okay, Ranger.  We took down part of the fence so you can go stand next to the other horses by the trailer!  Isn't that wonderful?

R-  No Beel.  You must not go through fences.  It is against the rules.  You must wear a head rope to go through fences.

B-  Well, just stand still and I'll put a halter on you and...

R- No Beel.

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B-  I'll kill him.  I'll flipping kill him.

RD-  Say Bill,  How about I saddle up one of my mares and try to circle him back to the trailer?

B-  Sounds good.  I've been stomping around here for nearly an hour and a half.  (I could have gone home and gotten a gun by now...)

RD-  All right, here we go.


R-   *SNORT* WAIT.  STOP.  NO ONE RIDES THAT MARE HERE OUT HERE. *SNORT*

B-  Quick Ranger!  Run to the trailer and hide behind Jesse!

R-  *SNORT* I WILL GO STAND BEHIND MY HERD. *SNORT*

B-  Quick, Juanita!  Catch him while he's...oh...you already have a piece of twine around his neck.

R-  Hello Beel.  Waneeta said I have to go now.

B-  I don't even like you, horse.

R-  Do you have waffle treats Waneeta?