Saturday, March 5, 2016
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. Horses have.... what the hell do horses have?
Dogs have Stockholm Syndrome. They really like, and will actually protect their captors, even if their owners don't deserve their admiration. I wish I were the man my dog thinks I am.
Cats seem stay with people purely for their own entertainment. "And what will the human do if I do THIS?" It's as if the earth is some sort of university and cats are actually alien undergrad students doing basic research. "Will the human blame itself if I take a dump in this shoe?"
Horses seem to pretty much go with the flow. They are like your drunken buddy in college.
You say "Let's go try and pick up some chicks!" and he says "Okay. We'll take them some where to get something to eat."
You say "Hey! Let's go steal the coil wire from Ed's car. He lives on this street!" And he says "Sure. Then we can go eat."
You say "Let's go steal the "Dip" sign from that old back road and hang it in Paul's bedroom! That will teach him not to join us!" and he says "Okay, I've got the tools for that and then we can stop and get something to eat."
(Ummm... don't ask me for details about this stuff.)
What you want your horse to do doesn't have to make sense, it just needs to be done with confidence and it will make your horse happy. Oh, and it needs to be followed by a meal.
When you think about it, this whole "climb on my back and I'll carry you around all day" is not really in the horses' best interest. But if you can convince them that you're part of their team, and this will be a great thing to do, they'll do darn near anything they can with you.
That's it. Horses have cohorts in crime, with a dinner date.