I have decided to get into the horse trading business. Below is my first draft of a letter to potential customers.
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Dear sir or madam,
Greetings of the day to you.
I am very pleased for being able to present you with the opportunity to be acquiring a horse of great value and rarity. This horse of which I am telling you is a "Registered Grade Horse". To acquaint yourself with the very stringent requirements of the registry, please take your computer to
http://allensparklodge.blogspot.com/2010/07/north-american-grade-horse-registry.html
This horse easily meets total requirements of the registry, and this animal is now know as gelding, it is the last of its bloodline, assuring its value and rarity will increase over time.
I will make this animal yours for the sum of 45,000 USD and have it awaiting your arrival when you get off of your slow boat. Please wire me the funds, and make available to me the name and account number of your bank, so that I may be sending you any excess funds after shipping.
With only the respect due-
Mister Bill Martin, owner of Ranger, the Wonder Horse
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I used as many of the highly effective sales techniques as I could that I have seen lately in the letters I get.
Tell me if you think it'll work.
Bill
I hope Ranger don't read this and think you might try to sell him.
ReplyDeleteHeck, for $45,000, I'd arrange visitations.
DeleteWell...minus a few zeroes and you are in business! LOL. Horses are going for rock bottom prices. Good time to be a buyer. Say...don't you need some more horses?
ReplyDeleteGee Bill, I think I'm being relentlessly hounded by the very same expert salespeople that are approaching you. It must work, so many seem to use this exact technique. I'm sure that Ranger will be sold very, very soon (!)
ReplyDeleteBwahahaha! Great one, Bill, but somehow I think Ranger's still pretty safe.
ReplyDelete