Bill and Juanita, owners of Allenspark Lodge B&B, are living their dream...

running a successful business and riding as often as possible.



Tuesday, June 19, 2012

You Just Can't Tell

Brains of a turnip.  Except I hate to insult turnips like that.

I went out this evening to "bug the horses" as I do most evenings.  Just get a little hands on time, check for new cuts, kick marks, ticks and so on.

I found no ticks on any of the horses, except Ranger.  He had a big, bloated one right on his... umm...  on the... umm... under his tail.  Ranger has always been rather "cautious" about letting anything under his tail, so when I pulled out my Leatherman and opened it up I told him "I really hope this hurts you more than it hurts me."  I have seen the old guy "jackhammer cow kick" through 3/4 inch plywood in his younger days, and have received a memorable pop or two myself.

I slowly and carefully lifted his tail, latched onto the tick near his head (making DARN sure I didn't grab any uh... skin on Ranger) and I pulled the tick off.

NOT A TWITCH from the old guy.  He just looked over his shoulder at me, and when I dropped his tail, he pinned it tight to let me know HE WAS DONE NOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, but that was all.

"Whew." I thought. and I closed the multi-tool.

"Click"


OH MY GOD!   MONSTERS!  EVIL HORSE EATING BOOGERS!  THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT!



And Ranger was off on a bucking, snorting kicking bug-eyed rampage across the corral.  I stared at him a little bug-eyed myself.

"Ranger, you moron!  You let me RIP a parasite the size of a Volkswagen off your anus and don't move a muscle, But I close a pair of pliers as I'm walking away and you FLIP OUT!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"

And off I went, following the knot-head  around with a pair of pliers, making him touch them, after which he would snort and run away some more, so I would follow him with a pair of pliers, making him touch them....

Lather, rinse, repeat.

"Click" 


 Dope.

Bill 

3 comments:

  1. LMAO. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, RANGER.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ROFLMAO

    Oh, and thank you SO much for the illustration! You did indeed look bug eyed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And if it makes you feel any better at all, one winter my friend's gelding spooked HARD (while she was riding) at a teeny bit of snow rolling down the side of a waist high snowdrift.

    ReplyDelete

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