Going Postal

Our town isn't exactly a huge metropolis.  Juanita and I don't know a lot of our townsfolk, because during the summer we are busy with guests in the lodge, or working with our horses.  And during the winter... nope, not going out there.  One of the folks we do know around here is our postmistress.

Early on, when we first moved up here I was standing in line forever (okay, there was one person ahead of me in line) when the gal ahead of me buying stamps at the counter told the clerk "Please give me some pretty stamps."  When I got to the counter I said "Please give me the ugliest stamps you have, I hate having them feel left out."  The clerk laughed and handed me some pretty ugly stamps, and that has been the way it has gone ever since.  I'm not sure Juanita has ever forgiven me for the year our Christmas cards went out with BATS on the stamps.

It's very nice being on a first name basis with the post office folks, and has probably saved me from doing time in the federal prison system.

A couple years ago, back when I trusted my ford truck enough to pull horse trailers with it, I found myself parked on the shoulder of the road towing "GunDiva's" horse and waiting for the truck to rest enough to magically start running and travel another mile or two up the canyon before dying again.  While I was cooling my hooves and cursing Henry's company under my breath, the mail lady pulled up beside me.   "Bill, do you need any help?" she asked.  "No, this d@mn ford just quits every mile or so some days, and needs a 15 or 20 minute break before it'll run again. Been doing it for months now.  Dealer can't figure it out, and neither can I."  I replied.  "Okay." she responded, and drove on up the mountain.  After an hour of intermittent travel, I made it the last 4 miles up the mountain.

  Multiple trips to the ford dealerships service department left the problem unresolved.  After one of my many expensive and fruitless trips to the service department, the ford Motor Company customer service department sent me  a customer satisfaction survey.

HOO! HAA!

I opened the letter right after pulling it out of my P.O. box and gazed at it incredulously.  Without thinking I blurted out

 "There isn't NEARLY enough room for a letter bomb in this return envelope!"

  "BILL!  YOU CAN"T EVEN JOKE LIKE THAT IN HERE!" came the shout from behind the wall of P.O.boxes.  Chagrined I said "No, no, it's okay, it's from ford."  "Oh.  Okay then." came the voice, and we all went off on our business with no call to the FBI.

Today, I walked to the post office with a hand full of thank-you cards Juanita was sending out that needed postage.  I asked for some ugly stamps, and asked the clerk if she would meter the postage on the cards and send them off.  Then I picked the up the mail from our box, and headed out the door and down the road. 

"Hey Bill!  Did you take those cards you wanted mailed out the door with you?" came a shout from the open post office door.

 "That would be dumb!  Why would I do that?"  I replied and I looked at the thank you letters held along with our mail in my hand.  I walked back to the door and mumbled my thanks at saving me another round trip.

These folks put the us in US mail.

Bill

To My Friends at Ford

To my friends at Ford Motor Company-

 Thank you for making sure I have a truck I can keep FOREVER.   One of my previous ads can be found HERE.

My latest Craigslist ad as posted in the Dearborn Michigan area (home offices of Ford)-

As posted yesterday (sure to be flagged soon...)

2004 F350 flatbed 6.0 L diesel

Here's the deal.  I've been trying to sell this truck for a year now, but every time I take out my hand full of receipts to show the $12,000.00 in engine work done on the diesel engine, folks look at me like I sprouted a 2nd head, get back in their car, and drive away.  I finally grabbed one by the arm, and asked him why he was leaving.  He said "That's just not normal.  You shouldn't be putting that much into a diesel."  I told him "Ford says it's ok." and he slapped my hand away and drove off shouting "Then sell it to one of THEM!"  Great idea!  So I am posting it here in Denver and in Dearborn.

It's a 2004 F350 with 155K miles on it. It has a crewcab and a flatbed with a headache rack, heated leather power seats, a great radio/6 disc cd player, power windows/locks/mirrors, an automatic transmission, and a lot of new parts in the 6.0 L diesel engine.  Oil cooler/radiator/fuel distributor/about all of the fuel injectors/fuel pump (several times) and a BUNCH of other stuff.  The head hasn't warped yet, but I hear that's a'coming.

   I need $10K to pay off what's left on the re-finance for the repairs, and another $18K to buy another truck.  I have had a Ford truck parked in front of my house for the last 37 years.  Here is an opportunity for you to purchase the last Ford truck I will ever own!

Act now, it won't last long!  I promise!

Truck Ad Responses

 The craigslist ad for my truck a couple weeks ago has gotten a lot of responses.  Here are a few...


Call us if we can help. Outstanding ad, unfortunately we hear that same story every day. If the Ford dealers would take care of their customers we wouldn’t have any business. I forwarded it on to a bunch of folks. If we can ever be of help please let us know.

I'm from BC and got one just like it.
It was broke done 8 months last time.

This made it onto a local Phx, Az forum. Great ad thanks for the humor.

LMFAO!!!  I have a very good friend that went through the EXACT same sh*t with a truck just like that...only his was a 450. Same engine. He ended up just cleaning all his sh*t out of it, driving it to the nearest ford dealer and leaving it with all the keys IN it. Then when Ford credit started calling he just told them where they could find it. LMFAO!

Hi,
Sorry, I feel your pain. I tell everyone to skip buying anything with a 6.0 in it, while International and Ford sue each other over who is wrong.
Yours,
JB
(-:
PS: Someone posted this on a Ford board.

sounds like you like that truck haha youll NEVER sell it with an ad like that, i admire your honesty bugt youll never get 32 for it expecially the mods you have done and they way you decrivbed the motor, about to blow up is she?
well good luck!

So that's 32,000.00 for the flat-bed trailer. and the truck for free! sorry I don't want the truck, but after reading your ad I couldn't stop laughing. I love this ad and have E-Mailed to a few of my friends. sorry you bought a ford. have a better day Jeff

Sounds Great, I'll take it. Will you take a 3rd party overseas check post dated for 12/20/2012 ?

According to the Mayan calendar, that should be just about right...

Does that truck have the 6.0 engine?????
Have a good time with that truck-----you need to keep advertising it.      Needs to be behind a tow truck.   Again and Again


Say, there's an idea.
Maybe rather than a tow truck, we could hitch a team up to it...
Bill

Posted an ad on Craigslist today...

For sale. 2004 Ford F350 crew cab 6 l diesel. 147K miles. Receipts for $12,000 worth of repairs on the engine in the last 12 months. Running great right now, but I need to sell before it strands me on the side of the road again. I need to buy a truck that doesn't dump all of its engine oil into the cooling system or die as I am rolling down the mountains here in Colorado with a load of horses in the trailer behind me, leaving me with no power steering or brakes on a winding 7% downhill grade, several times a week for months on end, while the dealership changes random components in between butt-cheek clenching episodes. I need $32,000 for this truck, so I can pay off the re-finance with the bank for repairs, and still have some cash to buy a used Chevy or Dodge one ton. I would prefer an out of state buyer so when it takes a dump again, nobody will come by my home and threaten to hurt me for selling them such a turkey. I'll need cash in advance, and will bring it to your home on a flat-bed trailer. I will leave you the trailer rather than risk starting the truck to unload it. Sold as is. Have a nice day!

Bears sh*t in the woods...don't they?

Apparently not.

Woke up this morning. Found bear scat ("poop" for you non-mountain folk) in the bed of my truck.

Guess the bear feels the same way about Fords as me.

GRV - The Perfect Breakdown

October 22, Day 11
Well, time to head for home. We woke up early and gathered everything up; pulled out at 8:00 am. The weather is fair but we’ve been warned that we are headed into a winter storm in Colorado. Sure enough, shortly after crossing the Colorado border, the temperature dropped to 29 degrees. By the time we crossed over LaVeta pass, halfway between Alamosa and Wallsenberg, we were in snow, but there was only a short portion of the road that was slightly snow covered. The new snow on all the trees is sure pretty. I do like winter when I am inside a nice warm truck.

We made good time getting home, with no more bad weather. In fact, by the time we reached Denver it was sunny and warm. We seem to have missed the storm and gladly head home, leaving I-25. We are on the homestretch, less than ½ hour from home, and happy to be arriving early, in the daylight, when the truck suddenly dies. Just like that! It had balked slightly a couple of times on the trip and we had already decided to send it to the shop to get the fuel jets checked out, but nothing to warn us its computer was going to shut everything down. We happened to be at the base of the St. Vrain Canyon in front of the Hall Ranch Open Space. In fact, this is right across the road from where we usually board our horses for the winter. Bill could get the truck to run for short spells, but it’s obvious we can’t pull the trailer and horses up the steep canyon, so he parked the rig on the road leading to the old homestead of the Hall family.

About that time, one of our neighbors from Allenspark stopped and asked if we need help. He graciously drove me back into Lyons so I have cell phone reception; I leave Ida Hall a message to tell her she has acquired three more horses and call AAA Road Assistance for a tow. He then took me back to our rig and Bill and I got the horses settled in the open corral at the ranch. Only about 10 minutes later the tow truck shows up. Our Ford F350 flatbed is getting towed in by another, older Ford F350 just like it, named “Ole Horse”. The driver had been in the business for over 30 years so he called himself the old driver with his old horse. He suggested a good diesel shop in Longmont and off we went. He then asked us if we could get a ride somewhere and we talked about calling our daughter, Nelle, who teaches in Longmont. We had just mentioned this to the driver when my cell phone rang, and guess who? Nelle was just checking to see if we were near home yet, and even better luck, she was still in Longmont, even though it was well past her usual departure time. To top it off, she was only ½ mile from the shop, because she had made a wrong turn leaving her meeting. She met us at the truck shop and we packed some stuff in her car and headed for home – again. If there is ever such a thing as a perfect breakdown, this was it.

Only it gets better. On our way home, Ida called to say she got the message and she offered her truck the next day to take the horses and our trailer the rest of the way home! The end of the story? We still don’t know what happened to the truck. The shop called the next day to say they couldn’t find anything wrong, we picked it up and have had no more problems. I can only surmise we weren’t supposed to be in the canyon with a loaded horse trailer that night.