Pipe Dreams

Okay, so it's not so much dreams as nightmares.

I hate plumbing.

The way I feel about plumbing is known to just about every body I know.  It is also known to a number of complete strangers, because I will walk up to someone I've never seen before and say, by way of introduction,  "I hate plumbing."

The lodge has 5 showers, 3 claw-foot tubs, 13 toilets and about 20 sinks.  And they are all old.   And they all break/leak/hate me.

And now, for whatever reason we have taken on another property with another 10 showers/toilets/sinks that are even older and freeze every winter and need fixing.

I now have most of the plumbing in the cabins working, just in time to drain the water and blow out the lines for winter later this week.

I was upstairs in the lodge an hour or so ago, working on a toilet that started leaking from the tank-bowl connection, when I had a thought.  Plumbing is God's punishment for us eating the apple.  "Okay"  he said  "Now that you have eaten it, this too shall pass.  And when it does, things will clog."

I hate plumbing.

Bill

If It Ain't Broke, It Ain't Mine

It's been a while since I've posted here, because I really try to keep things kind of "upbeat".  No one wants to hear about my problems, except for my friend Bucky.  He says it makes him feel so much better about HIS life.

The month of November started off amazingly well.  Temps were in the mid to upper 30's for the lows for the first week and a half.  Then things went straight to Hades.  Except it's supposed to be warm there.  We went from 42 degrees (f) at 7am on the 10th, to 2 degrees (f) at 7am on the 11th.  For you English majors, that's 40 degree difference in one day.  And the temperatures went down from there.  Driving back from a meeting in Estes Park, we watched the thermometer go down to -24 degrees.  I walked into the lodge muttering "I'm glad I'm not a brass monkey".  It stayed below zero for DAYS.

During the very unseasonably cold stretch, an outside sewer pipe froze solid, and several water pipes in our "Sunroom" froze and ruptured, spraying water all over inside the walls.  Both of the shut-off valves for the hot water line chose the same night to fail, so I had to shut off the hot water to the entire lodge to stop the spraying water, and then scramble to find fittings to replace the broken joints before guests arrived the following night.  In case you ever need to know, PVC and CPVC fittings and pipes are not the same.  At all.

Each time I would fix one break, the next one would thaw out and spray.

I hate plumbing.

Also during this period, the wind picked up in earnest.  It has been blowing between 20mph and 80mph nonstop for the last two weeks.  We quit riding our horses, and even feeding them turned into a life threatening ordeal.  I finished the plumbing.  At least it was indoors.

We then took the horses down the mountain to stay with the "other herd"  that they stay with in the winter.  They kept crashing through the hot wire so they could bug the cows in the field next to them. After a couple trips back down the mountain to fix the hot wire, they finally decided to stay put.  Bless their pointy little heads.

All of the extra driving at sub zero temperatures made the "odd-little-grinding-noise" in the front end of the minivan turn into a "horrific-helicopter-crashing-killing-all-on-board" sound.  No way in heel was I going to work on that in the cold.  We took it to the dealer.  They tore it apart, but couldn't get the parts (both front wheel bearing/hub assemblies) until the next day.  We had to borrow my mother-in-law's Pontiac-Buick to drive home in.  I could feel myself shrinking until I could only see between  the steering wheel and the dash.  I left the blinker on.  We got the van back the next day.  Fixed, but not free.  Something about it being a quarter million miles out of warranty or something.  Crooks.

Now, last summer during our busiest, I broke a molar.  I finally got an appointment made to get it looked at during the first part of this month. At that point, they scheduled me for a root canal on the 25th (only one more shopping month til Christmas!).  Joy.  I got that done and got a temporary crown.

I think I enjoyed it more than plumbing.


On the 26th, we made the decision to put our dog to sleep.  She had been fighting seizures for a year, and was losing the battle. It was time.  Sophie the lodge dog, you will be missed.  Damn.  I'm crying again.   I'd rather have another root canal than go through that again.

Yesterday, on Thanksgiving, all the kids showed up with all of their kids and spouses.  We had two turkeys and enough sides that there was barely room for peoples plates on the table.  We even fed the folks in the two rooms we had staying with us that night.  The food was great, the conversations were great and the people were wonderful.  World problems were solved and history was rewritten.  The laughter was loud and continuous.  After the meal was over, the evening continued in much the same vein.  After all was said and done, and the leftovers were divvied up and everyone had driven back to their homes safely, I realized something.

It was a good month after all.

v

Bill

Ice Ice Baby

About a week and a half ago, we turned our horses loose on their winter pasture, about 12 miles from us.   It is at the same altitude we are here at the lodge, about 8500 feet. The day we let them go was the last time we have seen temps above freezing.  It was also the last day we saw winds of less than 20 mph.  And it's snowed a foot or so.  In fact we have had 50 mph winds with sub zero temperatures.  It has been DARN cold.

When we go visit the horses, they seem to be accusing us of sending them to a horrible place, and it's hard to explain to them that it's just as cold at home.

DARN cold.

We had a faucet left dripping in the tub on the 2nd floor last week.  We found it when Juanita heard a dripping sound near her puzzle table.  A slow drip going down a sewer pipe on the outside of a log building will freeze to the inside of the pipe.  So will the next drip. And the next.  Etc. etc. etc...  Finally the whole 4 inch cast iron pipe will fill with an ice plug from the ground floor up.  This will only happen if there are no guests in the room for a week so no gushes of water warm and melt the ice stuck to the walls of the pipe.  And it will only happen if the "heat tape" warming the iron pipe on the outside of the lodge fails.  And it will only happen if it is DARN cold.

Poop.

At first I tried going outside to replace the heat tape on the pipe.  On a ladder.  In the wind.  In the sub zero temperatures.  I can not be taught, but I can be trained.  There just have to be consequences.

I froze.

(It's actually a LOT colder than it looks.)

I decided there had to be a way to thaw things from the inside.  So I pulled the toilet off the floor, ran a garden hose running hot water from the tub down the sewer pipe and used a shop-vac to suck up the return water as it came to the top of the pipe where the toilet had been mounted.  Over the course of a couple days, I melted my way inch by inch down the ice clogged pipe.

SUCCESS!  The water went away without the shop-vac!  It went down the drain!  So I reinstalled the toilet. (I had to change the tank-to-bowl bolts and gasket and the bowl-to-floor bolts and gasket.  They were... elderly.)

Ah... but wait.  How about the plumbing to the room NEXT to the frozen pipe?  Sure enough, it's drainage had been plugged by the sewer pipe "down stream" so the SECOND bath had a frozen sewer pipe.

So I got to pull the second toilet and start again.

Did I mention it takes a couple of days?

In a completely unrelated event, yesterday morning at 3:am, the power went out.  Wind and sub-zero temps, you know.  It was out for about 4 hours.

Do you remember what I said about heat-tapes that don't function?  That things will freeze up if the pipe is cold and unused?  Yep, a pipe in part of a "loop" system froze.  As it is a loop, we didn't know it had frozen because water still flowed to all of the faucets.

A little after 5:am this morning, the pipe thawed.  Lying in bed, we heard water running. I said "Wait a minute.  We don't have any guests!  The water can't be running."  So I pulled on my jeans and ran downstairs and said  "Oh, dear.  Look at the water POUR down through 3 floors!  My, my, my." (or something like that).  "Good heavens!  And we have guests coming in tonight!"

The pipe had broken.  One whole joint had popped apart.  We shut the water off to the building, and broke out the buckets and shop-vac and towels.  I was out of plumbers solder, so I had to wait for the hardware store to open in Estes Park.

I fixed the broken joint and turned the water back on.  Water gushed out of another break in the pipe.  Turned of the water and fixed that break in the pipe.  Water on, water fall again.  Water off. And again.  Lather-rinse-repeat.

Four breaks in that run of pipe.  By the end of the day Juanita and I were both getting "twitchy" and jumping at any sound that was even remotely similar to water running.  But we got it done before our guests arrived.

Oh, wait.  The "upstream" room still has an ice plugged sewer pipe.

So, I went back to work on that.  Finally got that ice dam melted, only to find two more sinks that entered that pipe even further upstream from them were also frozen up.

It's almost 11:30 pm now, and I'm tired of messing with it.  I think I'll go to bed and work on it tomorrow.  No one is checking into that room for another couple days, so I'll wait until tomorrow to re-install the toilet and thaw the drains for the sinks.

Maybe tomorrow morning I'll drive over and see the horses for a bit.  You know, I think they have the right idea.

They just pee outside.


Bill

Easily Amused

Probably 10 years ago, I was remodeling the bathroom to one of our "private" bedrooms that we don't rent to guests.  It's the one our kids usually stay in when they spend the night here at the lodge.  They call it the "slave's quarters".  Go figure.

I plumbed the water heaters so either can be replaced and keep hot water going to the lodge.

Ignore the rat and snake

Anyfixtures, I noticed all of the extra pipes and such that were orphaned in the bathroom, and built on the theme.

Hand towel ring.

Towel bar on door

Shower curtain rod

Shower valves

Even the toilet paper roll holder

So when we got snowed in, I looked at the leaky faucet in the sink and it went from this...

 To this...

To this.

I crack me up.


Bill

Plumb thy Neighbor

We have a neighbor across the street from us that has asked us to help him get his house ready to rent. 
We had one of the coldest stretches this winter we've seen since we moved here 14 years ago.
Our neighbors spend each winter in Florida.
We are in the mountains of Colorado.
Their house was empty.
The heat was off.
Damn.

I hate plumbing.

Pictures of burst pipes as soon as Blogger lets me.

Bill

Chamber Pot?

When we bought the lodge a little over 13 years ago, we remodeled the old grocery store attached to it.  We now call it the "Sun Room" and use it for assorted conferences and craft groups.  Most of the time, these groups are "single sex" getaways-  scrapbooking groups, knitting groups, quilting groups (mostly women).  So with the two restrooms we had in there, quite often there would be a line to the ladies room, even with no other males on the premises.

We got cute.

                                      The signs say "Elk" and "Deer"

There are Males and females of each species, so the rest-rooms are now "unisex", right?

It's kind of fun watching people walk up to the restrooms, pause, scratch their heads, and then choose.  Oddly enough, about 90% of the time women choose "Deer", and 90% of the time, men choose "Elk".

If I flip the signs over...

                            They say "Goats" and "Sheep"

Almost 100% of women go to "Sheep" and almost 100% of the men go to "Goats".

The last couple days, we have had temperatures down to between -26 and -38, depending on which thermometer you believe. This morning the pipes in the walls of these restrooms have frozen and burst, so I had to shut the water off to them.

I think tomorrow I'll need to make up some new signs.

    "Grizzly" and "Polar", because until I get the pipes fixed, it's the woods for everyone.

I hate plumbing.

Bill

Pipe Dreams (Or Is It Nightmares?)

A week or so ago, Juanita and I talked with one of our neighbors.  She had been called away for a long term assignment at her work, and wouldn't be able to spend the winter here in Allenspark.  We suggested, that if her home was going to be un-lived-in for the next couple months, the water should be shut off, to prevent any major problems.  Sounded like a good plan to her so I called the local water district to shut the water off at the curb-stop.  The Water District Guy (yes, singular, it's a small district) told me he'd get right to it, as he was going to Australia to visit family for the next 6 weeks.  Late the next day, I checked the water at her house and nothing came out of the sink.  Good.  Next trip to town, I'd pick up some RV antifreeze for the toilets and sink traps, and hope for the best.  The lines hadn't been blown out, so there was still a chance something would freeze if the power went out, but damage should be minimized.

Next, I caught a cold.  I spent 2 days in my sweats, coughing and whining.

Yesterday, Juanita and I finally took the antifreeze over and walked into her place.

"Oh!  Dear Me!  My Goodness!"  Well, I said SOMETHING along those lines.

      "Water, water everywhere, and 'nary a drop in the sink."

I slogged through the bedroom to the bath/laundry room, which at that moment was doubling as a 150 sq. foot walk in shower.  I snapped on the light.... Okay, some habits are hard to break.  Standing in 3 inches of water while being sprayed with a flood of cold water is not the best time to operate ANY electrical appliance or device.  The light didn't work anyway.  But I could see that the oil filled electric space heater sitting in the middle of the lake was still on.

"Oh!  Dear Me!"  and I back-peddled out of the room without touching any pipes or OTHER electrical devices.

"Me Oh My!"  The water hadn't been turned off, it had been frozen.  Remember the power failure on New Year's Eve?  It had just taken a few days to thaw out (It's -8 degrees this morning as I'm typing this.  Hard to believe ANYTHING could thaw.)

Okay- the main shutoff is in the meter-pit out back.  An 8 foot deep, 5 foot diameter concrete pipe in the ground with a 4 foot diameter 5 inch thick concrete lid covered with snow.  No problem, I know approximately where it is.  Finally got the lid found, brushed off and broken free.  Slid it over and saw...wait for it....WATER.

"Good Heavens!"

The meter-pit had 5 or 6 FEET of water in it.  No way I was getting in there without arctic diving gear.

I wandered  back home in my squishy wet boots and socks and called the Water District to leave a message.  I figgered in 6 weeks someone with a great tan (it's summer in Australia) would show up and stop the flood.  The machine gave me another number to call for the Substitute Water District Guy!  Score!  I called and he picked up.  He had dropped by his house to warm up.  Apparently the District had a major leak that they couldn't find, so he had been going door to door, reading meters and looking for evidence of a leak for 2 days.  The day after the Primary Water District Guy went on vacation, the leak had started.

The Substitute Water District guy told me he would round up the other guys and come on over (cell phones don't work up here...).

I pulled on a set of muck boots while I was waiting and went back to see if Noah had shown up with any lumber or critters.

I went into the shower room, giving wide birth to the heater, and (using a flashlight this time) found the indoor water cutoff behind the water heater, just under one of the major leaks.  I wrapped a knuckle on the valve to see if I was charged from standing in the lake with the heater. No shock.  Good.  I turned the valve off.

Silence.

I stood dripping off for a moment, and then went outside to wait for the boys.

I really hate plumbing.

Bill

Starting It Off

This morning I woke up to a frozen pipe that killed the water to the whole lodge.  THAT had never happened before.  I bypassed the frozen stretch with a garden hose so all could shower, shave and such.  Once bypassed, I found the dishwasher had frozen up.  That HAS happened before. Moments later, my mother in law called with a broken spring on her garage door.  She was trapped (a 95 pound 83 year old just ain't gunna lift that big a wooden door without help...)  That hadn't happened before.

Okay.  Thawed the main frozen pipe after breakfast, no breaks.  Drove down to Fort Collins and met my son in law (he used to work on garage doors professionally) at my mother in laws, and we got her door back up and running (thanks a TON Buddy!).  Drove back up to the lodge and power thawed the input AND output to the dishwasher. The breakfast dishes are running as I type.

A day FULL of chores I wasn't expecting, but the folks close to me are healthy and happy, SO...

 

HIPPO GNU EARS TWO EWES!

(Only slightly sorry)

Bill

Cliff Notes of Our 2010 Vacation

To make a long story short (Have you ever noticed if you hear that, it NEVER happens?)

We got ready to go on our vacation.  I changed a half dozen washers in faucets to stop them from leaking.  I changed the flapper in one toilet and the fill valve in another to stop their leaking.

We went to visit our friends in southern Arizona, Bucky, Andrea and their kid Jake a couple days before Thanksgiving. His toilet was running.  I fiddled with the fill valve.

We went to visit our son and his crew in Surprise Arizona (just north of Phoenix) and stayed in the campground outside town (White Tanks).  Never did get that shower in the camp ground to shut off.

Really liked the light switch in the shower house.  Sometimes you just need a reason.


We stopped by in Albuquerque to visit my sister and her boyfriend and see the house they have just purchased (WOW! Nice!).

We went back home for a couple of days and fixed the broken pipes that had frozen during the cold snap we missed while we were in Arizona.

We picked up a couple of friends and went to Utah to see a couple National Parks, Arches and Zion.

We drove over to the Boulder Dam to see the new bridge that was put in so everyone wouldn't need to drive over the dam.

We drove over the dam anyways.

 Water level is down in Lake Mead.  Must be leaking.

We went to Las Vegas to see the first half of the National Finals Rodeo.

We stayed in a motel rather than a casino so we wouldn't have to walk miles just to get to our car. The toilet was gurgling when we walked in.  When I test-flushed it, it overflowed.  I called the office.  They replied "So do you need a plunger or what?"

I went to the office for a plunger.

We went to the rodeos and did assorted touristy stuff for the rest of the week.

 Water spraying all over down there at the Belagio.  Probably a broken pipe or something.

We came home and worked on the water heater that had sprung a leak while we were in Nevada.

Juanita will have to give details on the actual vacation.  I'm spending my time listening for dripping sounds, and checking to make sure my pants are completely pulled up.

I seem to have developed a twitch.


I REALLY don't like plumbing.

Bill