Heck of a Ride

Hey, Ranger!  Heck of a ride today, eh?

I am not talking to you, Beel.

Aw, come on buddy, it was fun!

Beel, it was a harrible day.

Well, my little friend, you did have to carry me for a while...

Five days, Beel.

Five hours, Ranger.

What ever.  It was too long and too steep and too little grass and too many rocks and no fun at all.  At all.

Come on now, buddy.  You have been over worse, and just recently.

Beel, I had my herd with me those times.  MY herd.  I know them.  They are not cranky when I get close to them.  Well, not TOO cranky...

These other horses were fine, buddy, and you knew a couple of them from rides and staying at their ranch several years ago.

Most of them were strangers, Beel.  And they walk funny.  When they go fast, they get all... swishy.

They are "gaited" horses, Ranger.

What ever, Beel.  I just do not want them behind me.

They're fine.  So what did you think about the trail ride?

I did not ride Beel.  I carried your sorry body around on my back for five weeks.

Hours.  But the views were WONDERFUL, weren't they, buddy?

I did not like the views until we were going home, Beel.  Then things started looking pretty good.  At least until those new horses missed the turn to go home.  I had to stand, and wait forever until they came back and started down the right trail.  I was SO MAD.  All of those horses were there at that trail ON THIS SAME DAY AND THEY WALKED RIGHT BY THE TRAIL HOME.  I had to wait for them Beel.

It did seem to peeve you a little, Ranger.

I screamed at them when they finally came back and went down the right trail.  It is like they do not know where home is, Beel.

Umm, Ranger, most of those horses live over a thousand miles from here...

I am not surprised they are so far from their home, Beel.  The seem to get lost pretty easily.

Well, they made it back in pretty short order when they got on the right trail, eh buddy?

But when we finally got home, Beel. I heared THE MOSTEST HORRIBLEIST SOUND EVER!  I think a train-monster was running over a herd of cows or something.  I was VERY worried.

It was one of the new mules at the livery next door, Ranger.  It brayed.

It was terrible, Beel.  I hope it never makes that sound again.

Umm, buddy, I think you are gunna be sorely disappointed.  He'll probably be talking all winter.  So, other than that how was your day?

Beel,  I told you, I am not speaking to you today.