B- Hiya Ranger!
R- Hello Beel.
B- What's my horse up to today?
R- I am still about fourteen of the hands. Just like always Beel.
B- No, I mean... never mind. I've had a pretty busy few days here. Sorry I haven't been around to bug you much.
R- That is good Beel.
B- A couple days ago I went down the mountain to buy some hay.
R- My hay?
B- Yeah. I split a load with our oldest daughter. It was 99-101 degrees while we were loading a ton of hay onto my truck and another ton onto their trailer. Hot-hot-hot. As I pulled away I was glad the truck has a working air conditioner. But as I drove along, it didn't seem to be cooling off any. In fact, I was getting hotter and hotter and HOTTER and then- SATAN'S SKILLET! MY ARSE IS ON FIRE!!!
B- I really hate it when those stupid heated leather seats get turned on by accident. It can ruin your...
B- Yeah Buddy?
R- Was my hay okay?
B- Yeah, but some of the bales were kinda soft and the load kept shifting. In fact, our daughter lost about 20% of their load on a "round-about" in one of the small towns on her way home. Fifteen bales hit...
R- But my hay is okay Beel?
B- Yeah, I just had to tighten the straps a couple times more than usual. So just when I got up the mountain with the hay, a lady from a near by town showed up at the lodge saying her car had broken down across the street and Juanita asked if I could give her a ride home.
R- Did you take my hay?
B- No Ranger, the truck stayed home and I took the minivan. After I dropped her at her home, I started back to the lodge, when I saw another car broken down beside the highway. I offered the 2 gals in the car a ride back to the lodge so they could call a towing service. When I got back to the lodge, it looked like it was going to rain before I could unload the hay, so I...
R- Did my hay get wet?
B- No, our grandson and I tarped the hay before we took the gals back to their broken car. Their car only had 700 miles on it. This was its' break-in trip. Break down trip is more like it. When we got home the grandson and I unloaded and stacked the hay.
R- So my hay is put away?
B- Put up just fine, Ranger. The next day Juanita and I went into town to visit her mom, play with our daughters horse "Skeeter", and buy the weeks' groceries and some parts for a plumbing project. We got home, unloaded the food, and then I stayed up late replacing a water heater that had started leaking. You know, it drives me kinda nuts when I call them "hot water heaters". They are "cold water heaters" and I guess it's just a pet...
R- It did not leak on my hay?
B- No, we don't keep your hay in the kitchen, even though it's food. So it was after midnight when I finally turned the hot water heater... crap... water heater on and went to bed. A little after 5:am this morning, the hiking guide staying with us knocked on our bedroom door and said it looked like a bear had gotten into our van and dug some stuff out of it.
B- I guess we hadn't fully closed the slider door on the van after unloading the groceries and the bear had climbed in and snooped around for something to eat.
B- Yes Buddy?
R- Did the bear get my hay?
B- Naw, we don't keep any food in the van over night in hopes of keeping the bears out of it. I do think he got a couple antacids though.
R- Okay Beel my hay got loaded and did not burn up or fall in the road or get rained on or break down or get wet or get eaten by a bear. WHERE IS MY HAY BEEL?
B- Oh yeah, huh. It's dinner time, isn't it. Sorry, I guess I got kinda wrapped up in my story.
R- It was a good story Beel. I really liked the part about my hay.