Bill and Juanita, owners of Allenspark Lodge B&B, are living their dream...

running a successful business and riding as often as possible.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

North American Grade Horse Registry

  Does you horse make the grade?  Now you can prove it does with a certificate from the North American Grade Horse Registry. 

  Are you tired of feeling second rate because YOUR horse isn't registered?  Your horse has no papers to prove it is special?  Now you can DO something about it!  This is the registry for the rest of us.

  To qualify, your horse must not be listed with other foo foo registrys.

   No intentional past "Line Breeding" will be allowed.  An extra thumb or two may help a human play a banjo, but it doesn't help horses that much.

 The "registered as name" should be the same as the "barn name".  Exceptions can be made on this matter.  For instance, a horse named "Richard Edwards" may be called "Dick Ed" for convenience and accuracy.

  If the sire and dam are known, they may be listed on your application.  If either parent is registered with any other breed registry, a formal letter of apology for any undesirable traits of the parents must be included.  IE...  the lack of a tail on an Appaloosa,  the lack of a butt on a Tennessee Walker, the lack of a brain in an Arab.  If parentage isn't known, make something up.  For instance, my mustang Ranger would be listed as  "Out of Nevada, by Old Trailer".

  If we can get enough suckers members in our registry, we can keep others from using the "grade horse" designation unless they register, too!

   So send a photo of your horse, the required information and pony up $29.95 and I will send you a certificate suitable for flinging framing, cash your check and laugh all the way to the bank.


Foot note... I googled  "Grade Horse Registry", and there actually is one.  Wow.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh - you totally need to send this to Fugly Horse Of The Day!!! She would love it - because you just wrote (hilariously, I might add) what she wishes people would wake up about!

    This is cracking me up. Dick Ed was the best punch line!!


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